Dearest Golden Boy,
How lonely you must be without the support of your original mummy! We, the NCMA staff, have decided that your mummy-less existence must come to an end. In admiration of your glittering gilded hieroglyphs, slimming pectoral piece and flowing locks of cobalt blue helmet hair, we are proposing a new mummy for you.
But look! Meet Mini-Mummy-Me—NCMA’s newest Top Model! At 11” tall, MMM is rockin’ the newest mummy style of carved foam covered in the finest of fabrics—a.k.a. felt and cotton knit. (Plastic mounts are so 1983!) Yes, of course darling, MMM’s a bit small for you now—it’s just a model!—rest assured your final mummy will fit you perfectly. Your golden BLING will have their own custom-carved foam pieces embedded into the body of your mummy for support. No worries though—all pieces are easily removable in case you need a little “TLC” or go off-site for your speed dating lunches. We know that the new mummy can never fully replace your original mummy. Your special bond with your “O.M.” is one that we can only cherish and honor.
But you never know what might happen! Once you move into your modern Egyptian super-white penthouse, you can rock those house parties with your hot new mummy. Mingle with the other sexy single gilded mummy coverings and you, too, could be updating your Facebook status! We just can’t wait to see all the changes that are in store for you!
Keep rockin’ that museum scene, Golden Boy!